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Template:Politicsportalheader Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words "poly" and "ticks," "poly" meaning many, and "ticks" meaning blood-sucking parasites. Thus, politicians exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned (see "Piano Man"). Template:Portal:Box-footer-empty

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