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Archive – Kraftwerk The Man Machine album cover There are so many reasons why you should have an obscure taste, most notably the sheer lack of fashionableness you have personally. You may also have other issues to tackle which make the prospect of a new taste preferable. By having an alienating taste, you will gain a form of coolness. So the real question is not "Why? Have an alienating music taste" but rather "why not have an alienating music taste?"

Reading this means you are probably a bit of a "late starter", and if so you'll have points to prove - a lot of them. To help you prove something to the doubters that surround you, why not cultivate this fantastic taste? You will suddenly have some sense of being cool, and a reason to feel superior to those with more mainstream taste - in short, it will propel you beyond being the pathetic little man you are today. Of course there are certain other tangible benefits, such as developing a cool music collection, and expanding your experiences a little outside of Esquire and wanking.

Key reasons to develop this particular taste are: A.) You listen to a lot of music anyway; B.) Why not be regarded as being cool in some way for it?; C.) It's a better pastime than dating on Second Life. Of course, you're not really cool, and you never will be, but at least you'll amass quite a cool collection of music in the process of discovering obscurity and general mediocrity. (more...)

In the news:

THURSTON HOWELL, Washington -- Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft and famed creator of the Blue Screen of Death, has died at age 65. Tributes continue to pour in from governments able to spy on their citizens using the backdoors left in the various versions of Windows operating systems. However, accounting firm KPMG has announced that Allen's fortune, estimated to be over $20 billion, has completely disappeared.

KPMG spokesperson Jacob Marley stated, "As much as it seems unlikely, our preliminary audits show that, somehow, Paul Allen was able to take it [the money] with him. There is no evidence of theft, no evidence of any transfers of funds or assets. Everything is just gone." The Allen-owned Seattle Seahawks football team has been reported missing. While his Portland Trailblazers basketball team and soccer's Seattle Sounders FC are nowhere to be found, nobody has bothered to report them missing.

This is not the first time Allen money has disappeared. His Ticketmaster company, famed for jacking up concert ticket prices, failed in its monopoly attempt and was fined heavily. Somehow that company sued Microsoft, not the first time someone has tried to sue themselves. Ticketmaster then suffered a data breach in the UK with over 40,000 credit card records lost. Card companies deny any relation to the coincidental estimated 40,000 Amazon shipments made to North Korea. Allen's cable operator Charter Communications went into Chapter 11 bankruptcy, leaving investors $8 billion poorer. Several other corporations moved overseas or shut their doors to avoid the "Allen Touch".

On this day...

Pumpkinhead man October 30: Halloweve (eve of Halloween).

954 BCE - Romulus holds the first toga party. Remus, who favors bikini briefs and Cat in the Hat hats, is not invited, causing the first rift between the two. 358 - The Mayans begin to give handmade chocolates as gifts. The practice is superseded by human sacrifice of those found to be allergic. 1622 - The first American Halloween is celebrated early when an Indian knocks on a Pilgrim's door and gets a musket ball. 1806 - Children finally figure out they should ask for treats before pranking householders. It proves to be much easier than the previous sifting through burnt wreckage of houses for candy. 1813 - Naturalist James Audubon observes massive flocks of passenger pigeons firsthand and up close. The next time time he does, he wears a large hat, an overcoat and heavy boots. 1844 - Popcorn balls are invented. Popcorn was genderless before this date. 1921 - Jehovah's Witnesses first provide practice for people to pretend not to be home on Halloween. 1955 - Hundreds of American kids somehow manage to cross the International Date Line to get first crack at Halloween goodies. 1973 - Four stoners in costume show up a day early for a Halloween party. The band KISS is born. 1989 - Old lady buys apples to give out to trick-or-treaters; still doesn't get it. Death comes to take her, is given an apple, and is so moved he lets her stick around for another year. This has happened for the last 180 years. 2005 - Emo kids anticipate not getting their favorite treat tomorrow, an apple with a razor blade inside. 2011 - Viewers of The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror are disappointed once again

Today's featured picture

... that Japanese ninjas are among those who have tried to find a way to get across the Great Wall of China? (pictured)

... the Earth is indeed hollow, but you might fall off the edge trying to find the entrance? ... Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that Every Good Boy Does Floccinaucinihilipilification? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... the US Postal Service delivered over 7.7 billion pieces of mail last year? ... and that unfortunately those started out as 5.2 billion packages and letters?

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